The Year I Burnt It to The Ground
Today’s conversation is the most personal thing I’ve shared in all my years talking to you. And maybe I’m nuts, I’m sure I am, but this is on my heart, and someone might benefit from it.
My husband jokingly refers to 2022 as “the year Meg burnt it to the ground.”
I think of it as the year I let go, but he’s right. I set things on fire this year to reset and reclaim my life.
So, as you start to think about the New Year, if you’re feeling the pull to make a radical change, let this note be the thing that moves you forward.
Consider this your sign.
Because this time last year, I was in a spiral, and today, I can say with all sincerity that I have never been happier or more at peace.
And, listen, I’m no expert.
I’m just a 43-year-old woman who woke up one day 12 months ago sick of everyone’s shit, including her own.
Related: The 12 Amazon Wellness Products that Made My Year Better
Only a few people know that for the last two years, my life was filled with tremendous personal turmoil.
I’m fine, and my husband and children are wonderful, happy, healthy, thank God.
But I spent 2021 utterly heartbroken.
I realized I couldn’t live in grief and bottled-up anger anymore when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on Christmas morning.
Was this the mom my girls were waking up to?
I guess I thought I was hiding the pain better, but there it was, all over my face, and I was done.
So, I committed to healing myself from the inside out as we started the new year.
Let me tell you; it’s everything they say it is: messy, at times lonely, and very humbling. But it’s also the best thing I ever did for myself.
I quickly learned that living in dysfunction is a lot easier than living in the process of removing yourself from it. Only when you’re out of the crazy do you understand just how crazy it was.
But I would do it all over again for what I gained, how I’ve grown, and how my life has improved.
When I say I did everything I could to feel better, I mean it.
I didn’t know where to start, so I began exercising regularly and eating well. That was the easiest step, which wasn’t easy at all.
I also limited drinking, started meditating, tried hot yoga, turned off the news, and listened to inspiring podcasts instead, where I tried to learn as much as I could about trauma healing and inner child work.
Then, I created a healthy morning and evening routine. I wrote in a gratitude journal, took all the vitamins, and drank all the green juice.
And because I take everything to the extreme, I bought crystals; I saged my house, found a spiritual healer, and started to have regular fire-cupping sessions.
Yes, you read that right. I told you I did everything. I threw the kitchen sink at it.
The hard part, the spiritual healing part, changing my inner dialog, learning painful lessons, and forgiving myself in the process is a challenge.
I’m still working on this, but I’m eons from where I started.
I didn’t do it all at once; instead, it was like serendipitous baby steps that took the entire year.
A walk turned into a run.
A friend mentioned a friend who had cupping done.
A yoga studio opened up down the street, and I tried it.
It wasn’t overwhelming; quite the opposite.
It was invigorating!
I just decided to say yes to whatever came my way. I can do anything once, I thought.
Whenever I saw my strength improve or woke up clear-minded, it felt like a tiny victory. I would hear myself say, look at you!
And that kept me willing and open to trying and adding more.
Don’t get me wrong; there were plenty of messy days. I cried a lot. I second-guessed myself.
Working out in your 40s is different from in your 30s. You’re constantly sore and tired; you have to wake up at an unholy hour, and it stinks.
Healing your soul is a whole other thing that takes a different toll. You need rest. You have to go to bed early or take a nap. You need to be gentle with yourself.
And this all led to evaluating my relationships and intentionally pulling away from people I probably should have walked away from years ago. I was as ruthless as I am with a pair of capris in your closet. Toss, toss, toss.
But by burning it all down, new sprigs of life started to pop up.
I finally had the strength to not only close the chapter on numerous unhealthy relationships but also to start to release my anger. Again, I’m not there, but I’m working on it.
And as I did, peace covered my home like a warm blanket, and all the drama disappeared.
Old and new friendships emerged as if by magic, and all my relationships, for the first time in my life, feel safe.
And what is incredible is that all the internal remodeling left space for me.
- For me to hear my voice and let it guide my thoughts and decisions.
- For me to understand the difference between my anxiety and my intuition.
- For me to consciously choose to be the woman, the mother, the wife, the daughter, and the friend I know I’m supposed to be.
- For me to build my business with integrity and make choices in alignment with my mission.
I regularly hear from women in our community who are also struggling. That might seem odd coming from a site about clothes and makeup. But our seemingly frivolous topics can catalyze bigger conversations around being a woman in this season of life.
Maybe this message inspires you to walk with your neighbor and get fresh air or call your doctor to check your hormones.
Maybe you start a gratitude journal or take that multivitamin sitting in your pantry.
Maybe I’m oversharing.
I don’t know.
But I’ll tell you this: my life and my family’s life changed dramatically for the better when I said enough to the b.s—surrounding me. I learned to take accountability for my choices, unapologetically prioritize my physical and mental health, protect my peace, and let go of all the people, thoughts, and things that were holding me back.
And if this resonates with you, I hope that what I experienced prompts you to start now so your 2023 can be just as transformative.
It’s only 12 months; imagine what you can do with it.
Related: The 12 Amazon Wellness Products that Made My Year Better
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Megan, acknowledging your situation and then taking steps to find ways to make yourself stronger and healthier is a great testament to your inner strength and a wonderful example to your children. Be proud of yourself and your strength to address your situation and change it! Thank you for sharing! Take care and have a wonderful holiday!
You are very inspiring and kind to share this with us. There is something there for all of us to learn from. Thank you.
I needed this! I truly and deeply did! Thank you!
I never leave comments but I want you to hear this: you are a strong beautiful woman who deserves the best life you can have. Thank you for the courage to share this and know that I, a 55 year old professional executive, needed this. We all have circumstances in our lives to deal with. It takes strength and courage and faith to make it. We need to be honest and share that life isn’t easy…it’s messy and at times damn hard, but it can be wonderful. You go girl!!
Thank you for your post. I think we can all use encouragement on our journey. Congratulations for taking control for yourself and moving away from negativity. Important message for all of us. Happy New Year!
~Carlye
This … this is what I needed to read today. I’m feeling lost and having a very difficult time lately. Your words are the encouragement I need to help myself. Thank you for sharing and for giving me hope that I too can burn it to the ground!
You go girl!
Good for you.
You can do anything!
Keep inspiring!
THIS IS EVERYTHING. Thank you! You articulated what I realize I need to do for myself ❤️
Thank you for sharing as it really hits home for me. You are a warrior and an inspiration. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing what was clearly from the heart. We girls need to support each other, and you’re doing that. BTW, I’m 74 :).
I’m glad you are doing well. Seems like you’ve…’come a long way, baby’! That dates me I’m sure! I’d encourage you to seek peace , guidance and direction from the one true source, Jesus Christ. You’ve opened your mind and life to other things, give him a try, too! Thank you for all your work on #the well dressed life!!
Thank you Megan for inspiring me to continue my journey!!!! Thank you for sharing!
Appreciate your candor and authenticity. This resonates strongly. I’m working on creating some healthy boundaries. I’m six months in so another six to see how it unfolds!
Megan, congratulations! I am thankful that you shared this and happy for you. I’ve been with you for almost all of 2022 and would never have suspected you were going through anything.
Five years ago two long time friends hurt me so dramatically that I too set on a journey to heal my soul. Fascinating to look back at what my life was like before that happened and now feel so much peace, calm, and grace.
Thank you for writing about your struggle. I can’t tell you how much I needed to read this right now. It’s nice to know that there is a way out.
Thank you for your post. I have a very special friend who is going through the exact same thing you were experiencing. She is trying to work out these problems and get her “happy” back. I will be sharing this post with her. This is an excellent post for everyone!
Thank you so very much for sharing this, Megan. Today, especially, I needed to hear this and find encouragement. You are truly a blessing and I am so grateful I’m part of our community, The Well Dressed Life. I’ve learned so much. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here’s looking forward to a magical, peaceful 2023.
Linda
Having just turned 50- here’s they very hard lesson I’ve learned the very hard way. If you don’t burn it to the ground, life/fate/God, will do it for you. Because I didn’t do what you’ve done in my 40s, I now have a chronic health condition that has burned social life and my career to the ground for me. Congratulations to you because this cautionary tale called my life can attest- when dysfunction is at work eventually it burns your health to the ground for you. And once you lose your health, all other losses pale in comparison. May 2023 be a beautiful year for you body and soul. <3
Thank you for having the courage to share your story with all of us. You are incredibly brave and stronger than you probably realize. Loving ourselves is the hardest thing to do sometimes. I am learning that I cannot pour from an empty cup and if my cup is breaking then it will become useless if I don’t repair it. Your story inspires me. I am blessed beyond measure with a beautiful family, a beautiful home in a beautiful community, a dream job for a company I have worked for for 17 years and a large circle of friends. However, none of those things mean we don’t struggle or suffer -sometimes (oftentimes) in silence. Putting on a happy face is what is expected and Social Media makes that ten times worse. Two of my three children suffer from moderate to severe anxiety and depression and all three have ADHD (as does my husband). This means I am the one who has to juggle, balance and organize our world. I am the encourager, the fighter, and the champion for all of them. Their struggles have taken our family on some frightening paths but I am thankful to have traveled those paths because they brought us to a better place than where we started.
I have spent much of my energy trying to keep it all together for everyone else so 2023 is going to be my year to fill my cup so I can continue to pour for the ones I love. My words for 2023 are love, creation, gratitude, connection, change and purpose. Your blog has been a source of inspiration to me on a variety of levels since I found you and while we have never met, you have made my life better for having made the connection. I am going to try to have the same courage to “burn it down” and rise anew in 2023. My own health, including my mental health need to be as important to me as my children’s health and mental health. Continued blessings and peace to you and yours this Holiday Season Megan!
Thanks for the RALLY CRY!!! Yes I CAN!!
Megan,
What a beautiful journey. Thank you so much for sharing with this community. Sounds like you have been going through a lot, but you should be super proud of yourself for being proactive, what is it first uncomfortable, and just making it happen. Life is what you make of it. There’s literally no point in being unhappy. Your strength and journey will inspire so many.
Thank you for sharing. I just turned 64 and need to do what you’ve done. One thing I did do was to let people go that didn’t bring me joy. That’s powerful. Now, I just need to get on a regular exercise schedule! God bless and Merry Christmas 🙂
People think I crazy in my 70’s but I ride my bike most mornings while others are sleeping. That way nothing stops me from getting exercise. I also workout several times a week and do yoga. I can’t say I’ve got my clothes very organized but I’m working on it. I want to feel good about what I have on so it takes me a while to get dressed. Thank you for all your suggestions. Some have worked for me and some have been returned but it’s all good. I also watch what I eat most of the time. Thank you for your help in many ways! Merry Christmas!
I love your story! You are my inspiration. Thanks for sharing!
It’s very brave of you to share your experience on a public forum. I hope the responses you receive help you to feel supported. Thanks for sharing and providing support for those who are on the same journey.