Back in December I shared how my husband refers to 2022 as The Year I Burnt to the Ground.
I shared (here) that I went through a series of challenging events for a few years that left me pretty brokenhearted.
And one day, I woke up and decided that a lot of what I was dealing with was my own doing.
I was compromising myself to make others comfortable.
So I had to look inward and figure out why I invested so much time into so many unhealthy relationships and why I was so willing to allow people to walk all over me.
It was humbling, to say the least, and left me with a lot to unpack and work on.
Ultimately, I walked away from most of my social circle, that included some family.
It was scary and very lonely.
And I know I’m the bad guy in a few peoples stories, but I’m willing to accept that to regain my self respect.
Now, I’m about to sound like the biggest cliche from every self-help book you’ve ever read … ready?
Burning down my old life was absolutely, hands down, the single best decision I ever made.
Because, almost overnight, my life and, more important, my family’s lives, improved a thousandfold.
For the first time, we’re actually living with peace as our baseline, and, I’m almost embarrassed to admit, I never knew it was even an option.
If you had told me two years ago that we would be spending our summer at the beach, surrounded by all our favorite people, with friends that feel like family, and joyful kids, and that there would be no contention or high drama, I would not have believed you.
Turns out, the floodgates of good open once you eliminate toxic relationships, frienemies, and negative energy and focus instead on gratitude and keeping your side of the street clean.
It’s like I was rewarded for choosing myself and sticking to my moral compass.
Because once I said a firm no to all the nonsense in my previous life, old friendships reappeared, new ones developed, and the good ones we kept deepened.
And with that, I gained so much confidence. Because I knew our old life didn’t feel right, I knew we weren’t being treated well. And I trusted myself and I was right.
Life right now doesn’t seem real. I find myself so happy I’m terrified. Sometimes, I think, Are you allowed to be this happy without having to pay for it somehow?
But when I have those kind of intrusive thoughts I just recenter myself in the moment and stay grateful.
I wrote The Year I Burnt it to the Ground in December as a super personal reflection on some trying times in the hopes that other women might relate.
For me it was turning 40 and reevaluating what I wanted and deserved out of life. As I say in the feature, “I woke up one day sick of everyone’s sh*t, including my own.”
Now it’s August, and I’m still in awe of how life has changed for the better.
And listen, life isn’t perfect, and I’m old enough to understand that life ebbs and flows, but right now it’s GOOD, and it’s drama free.
So, if you’re going through something right now, if you’re feeling a call to change, if you feel like you deserve more, YOU DO.
The temporary discomfort and pain is worth it because there is so much goodness on the other side if you just choose yourself.
We get this one life, and if you are lucky enough to be born in the position to make changes, you have to do it.
And please note, I’ve been working while we’ve been here, but I’m going offline this week before we’re back to 5 am wake-up calls, all the sports pick back up, and we start touring colleges (sobbing).
But we’ll be back to regular content on Tuesday, 8/22.