The Year I Burnt It to The Ground

Today’s conversation is the most personal thing I’ve shared in all my years talking to you. And maybe I’m nuts, I’m sure I am, but this is on my heart, and someone might benefit from it. 

My husband jokingly refers to 2022 as “the year Meg burnt it to the ground.”

I think of it as the year I let go, but he’s right. I set things on fire this year to reset and reclaim my life.

So, as you start to think about the New Year, if you’re feeling the pull to make a radical change, let this note be the thing that moves you forward.

Consider this your sign.

Because this time last year, I was in a spiral, and today, I can say with all sincerity that I have never been happier or more at peace.

And, listen, I’m no expert.

I’m just a 43-year-old woman who woke up one day 12 months ago sick of everyone’s shit, including her own.

Related: The 12 Amazon Wellness Products that Made My Year Better

Only a few people know that for the last two years, my life was filled with tremendous personal turmoil.

I’m fine, and my husband and children are wonderful, happy, healthy, thank God.

But I spent 2021 utterly heartbroken.

I realized I couldn’t live in grief and bottled-up anger anymore when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on Christmas morning.

Was this the mom my girls were waking up to?

I guess I thought I was hiding the pain better, but there it was, all over my face, and I was done.

So, I committed to healing myself from the inside out as we started the new year.

Let me tell you; it’s everything they say it is: messy, at times lonely, and very humbling. But it’s also the best thing I ever did for myself.

I quickly learned that living in dysfunction is a lot easier than living in the process of removing yourself from it. Only when you’re out of the crazy do you understand just how crazy it was.

But I would do it all over again for what I gained, how I’ve grown, and how my life has improved.

When I say I did everything I could to feel better, I mean it.

I didn’t know where to start, so I began exercising regularly and eating well. That was the easiest step, which wasn’t easy at all.

I also limited drinking, started meditating, tried hot yoga, turned off the news, and listened to inspiring podcasts instead, where I tried to learn as much as I could about trauma healing and inner child work.

Then, I created a healthy morning and evening routine. I wrote in a gratitude journal, took all the vitamins, and drank all the green juice.

And because I take everything to the extreme, I bought crystals; I saged my house, found a spiritual healer, and started to have regular fire-cupping sessions.

Yes, you read that right. I told you I did everything. I threw the kitchen sink at it.

The hard part, the spiritual healing part, changing my inner dialog, learning painful lessons, and forgiving myself in the process is a challenge.

I’m still working on this, but I’m eons from where I started.

I didn’t do it all at once; instead, it was like serendipitous baby steps that took the entire year.

A walk turned into a run.

A friend mentioned a friend who had cupping done.

A yoga studio opened up down the street, and I tried it.

It wasn’t overwhelming; quite the opposite.

It was invigorating!

I just decided to say yes to whatever came my way. I can do anything once, I thought.

Whenever I saw my strength improve or woke up clear-minded, it felt like a tiny victory. I would hear myself say, look at you!

And that kept me willing and open to trying and adding more.

Don’t get me wrong; there were plenty of messy days. I cried a lot. I second-guessed myself.

Working out in your 40s is different from in your 30s. You’re constantly sore and tired; you have to wake up at an unholy hour, and it stinks.

Healing your soul is a whole other thing that takes a different toll. You need rest. You have to go to bed early or take a nap. You need to be gentle with yourself.

And this all led to evaluating my relationships and intentionally pulling away from people I probably should have walked away from years ago. I was as ruthless as I am with a pair of capris in your closet. Toss, toss, toss.

But by burning it all down, new sprigs of life started to pop up.

I finally had the strength to not only close the chapter on numerous unhealthy relationships but also to start to release my anger. Again, I’m not there, but I’m working on it.

And as I did, peace covered my home like a warm blanket, and all the drama disappeared.

Old and new friendships emerged as if by magic, and all my relationships, for the first time in my life, feel safe.

And what is incredible is that all the internal remodeling left space for me.

• For me to hear my voice and let it guide my thoughts and decisions.
• For me to understand the difference between my anxiety and my intuition.
• For me to consciously choose to be the woman, the mother, the wife, the daughter, and the friend I know I’m supposed to be.
• For me to build my business with integrity and make choices in alignment with my mission.

I regularly hear from women in our community who are also struggling. That might seem odd coming from a site about clothes and makeup. But our seemingly frivolous topics can catalyze bigger conversations around being a woman in this season of life.

Maybe this message inspires you to walk with your neighbor and get fresh air or call your doctor to check your hormones.

Maybe you start a gratitude journal or take that multivitamin sitting in your pantry.

Maybe I’m oversharing.

I don’t know.

But I’ll tell you this: my life and my family’s life changed dramatically for the better when I said enough to the b.s—surrounding me. I learned to take accountability for my choices, unapologetically prioritize my physical and mental health, protect my peace, and let go of all the people, thoughts, and things that were holding me back.

And if this resonates with you, I hope that what I experienced prompts you to start now so your 2023 can be just as transformative.

It’s only 12 months; imagine what you can do with it.

Related: The 12 Amazon Wellness Products that Made My Year Better