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The Ten List: March 4th, 2019

The Ten List: March 4th, 2019

When I turned 39 in November, I decided to create a plan to get ready for 40.

Forty feels huge. Not in a scary way, but in an exciting, I’m-ready-for-this-new-chapter-way. I want to go into it with a clear mind, a healthy body, and a happy heart. 

I’m already noticeably calmer, and more grounded. Things don’t bother me the way they used to, my priorities are in order, and I’m feeling something that vaguely resembles confidence.

Confidence is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. I never had much faith in myself. I always felt odd and a little awkward. It’s funny to me that I go from running a loop of negative self-talk to having a brazen level of self-assurance.

I tend to make significant and bold decisions quickly, and then while I execute them, I doubt myself the entire time. But not enough to stop. It’s weird and exhausting.

What I’m learning is that your confidence does grow with age. And what becomes important is that you are proving to yourself what you are capable of, not anyone else.

That’s been my biggest take away so far on this journey. I spent so much of my life trying to show other people what I could do, and when I accomplished it, I didn’t feel any different. 

It wasn’t until I started to do the things that scared me, that meant something to me and succeeded at them, that I felt a big dose of confidence.

My plan going into this next decade is to double down on everything I do, especially the things that scare me, whether it’s putting myself out there personally, or giving my work everything I have. 

I can’t wait to look back in November and see how much stronger I feel and how much more faith I have in myself.  

The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.

And speaking of confidence … 

2. Stop Your Tween’s Confidence from Dropping

Showing up as a confident woman in front of my kids is one of the most important things I can do as their mother. Between the ages of 8 and 13, a girl’s confidence drops by 30%. I can see this happening firsthand with my oldest.

She’s at that age when she’s starting to doubt herself and worries about anything and everything, big or small. Could you imagine the world we would live in if girls keep the fearlessness they have when they are little?

This article has some helpful tips for parents, and the accompanying book, The Confidence Code for Girls, is on its way to our house. If you have girls my kids age this article is worth the read. 

3. Occassion Sweater Dresses.

Eliza J. made some seriously beautiful sweater dresses for spring. This burgundy wrap would look lovely with a pair of suede pumps in the office, the green fit and flare option is conservative without being frumpy, and this soft blue dress with full sleeves is perfect for springtime weekend events. 

4. Increase Productivity at Work

I’m always on the lookout for strategies to get more done in a day. The tips in this article are a reminder that little choices add up to give you more time. One featured tidbit I swear by is saying “no” to meetings. I refuse to meet for coffee, or lunch, or any in-person meeting unless absolutely necessary. They are always a time drain and rarely result in anything that couldn’t be accomplished with a phone call. 

5. Behind the Curve

If you haven’t watched Behind the Curve on Netflix, put it in your queue. The documentary features “flat Earthers” (yes, people who believe the world is flat). While it’s certainly funny, it’s also a fascinating study in psychology. It’s an extreme example of what happens when we are only surrounded by people who agree with us and how human beings are programmed to search for belonging.

6. Why Don’t Doctors Believe Women?

Last week actress Selma Blair opened up about her battle with MS. Her powerful interview with Robin Roberts is a much watch. In it, she mentions her doctors initially didn’t take her seriously. They told her she was just an exhausted single mom.  Which brings up a huge issue women face in health care: we are frequently dismissed or misdiagnosed.

I know how infuriating this is first hand. It took years for my doctors to agree that I had a rare form of endometriosis. Even though I knew exactly what was wrong, my symptoms were categorized as “getting older” and my hormones changing. Everything they did to help me just made it worse and I spent years in chronic pain. 

Hopefully, the more women who openly talk about this, the faster we’ll see our symptoms taken seriously. 

7. Casual Transition Blazers

Swapping out a cardigan for a causal blazer is an easy way to add structure to your outfits, and makes that outfit look more pulled together. Going into spring is the best time to look for casual transition blazers. Old Navy has a ponte knit option for $40 that you can scoop up in navy, Nordstrom has several awesome under $100 options, like this boyfriend blazer in black and ivory, and this striped one button would be extra cute with white jeans.  

8. Pajama Refresh

After nine months of pregnancy, and a few postpartum months, I’m ready to retire my gross maternity jammies and get some new ones. I’m a big fan of Nordstrom’s private label. This classic menswear inspired set and this crop version are ideal for lounging on weekend mornings, not that I’m lounging anymore.  For under $50, these from J. Crew factory PJs are both chic and spit-up proof, which is apparently a requirement for me these days. 

9. Style Challenge Last Call.  

We launched our latest 4 Weeks to A Better Wardrobe Style Challenge over on our private Facebook group.  You can always join the group, and if you’d like to get in on the challenge, doing so now puts you in Week 1. 

10. In Case You Missed It

Last week we launched our very first capsule wardrobe series, starting with picks to create easy and chic weekend and everyday outfits. I’m excited to share more over the next few weeks including several for work, a few more for the weekend, and one for workout athleisure. If there is anything you’d like to see be sure to add your requests in the comments below. 


The Ten List: March 4th, 2019

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Monday 4th of March 2019

"I tend to make significant and bold decisions quickly, and then while I execute them, I doubt myself the entire time."

This is so me! Exactly! Thank you for this, Megan, this really resonated with me. I am already in my 40s, but still struggle with confidence and sometimes it's like all or nothing with these big decisions. I like what you said about doubling down on things and giving it your all. Sometimes I find my motivation waning even though I know what would be best to do. This is great, thank you!

PS- If you are ever in the Boston area for a speaking engagement, let me know!

Megan Kristel

Wednesday 6th of March 2019

Thanks Jen! Yes - all or nothing is exactly how it feels. Like you make the decisions of a confident person, and then immediately regret it. I think it means we're actually confident, just need to better manage our internal dialog. :)

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